Where I'm at Today

I left my husband of 13 years on June 29th. Our last couples counseling session on July 8th was volatile and abusive, not just to me and our marriage, but to our therapist as well. That evening, he used my Amazon credit card to purchase items "for the business" and began telling mutual friends I was having an affair. I filed for a temporary restraining order the next day. His response? "You could have just asked for a divorce. This is just cruel." 

But I did ask for a divorce. In January. And March. and May. And each time, he said he would do whatever it took to stay in the marriage. And every time after he said it, there was another secret, another lie, another incident crossing my boundaries that left me feeling like an idiot for believing him. 

But I left when I was able to leave. I started reaching out to friends and family to see who could provide me a safe place to stay should I need it. I started to check on my finances and see what savings I could pull from when I needed it. Even as I was clinging on to hope with my fingernails that I wouldn't have to leave another marriage, that he might finally be able to change, the planning was going on in the background. At least I had learned something from my previous escapes.